The Kid

I will admit that this post is totally unlike the others that I normally put up, however, this is a topic that I cannot help but share my thoughts on!

One of my dearest forever-friends has been blessed with an incredible opportunity and I am beyond proud.

To describe this man as a dear friend does not begin to scratch the surface of what he has meant to my heart in the years that I have known him. He is a brother. ( and a wonderful one at that.)

We do not talk everyday and I never know what state he is in- but I know that if/when I need him that he will be at my side in a flash with a sarcastic joke and word of wisdom.

This brother is Ryan Kinder.

Ryan has had dreams of writing and playing music for as long as I have known him. If my math is correct- He has been in my life for about 11 years- all the while passing new song lyrics in drivers ed for me to read and emailing me ideas for new songs he would like to tackle.

We have seen him play at battle of the bands, beauty walks, college parties, beach hang outs, comedy clubs, work play, high school lunch rooms...and that is just to name a few :)

Ryan's passion and drive for writing music that is solid and raw is an incredible blessing.
He is a gifted former of thoughts and does so beautifully in the songs that he is written and music he has made.
To know his heart is to read the lyrics of his tunes.

The road to get Ryan from where he started to where he is now has been a long one-
many a day where the "future" and the "dreams" seemed impossible- out of reach- and so far away that frustration was the only option.
This kid pressed on. Didn't quit and has given all those who doubted that he could do this a little punch in the gut.

A few weeks ago I got a phone call from Ryan with some sweet news that we have been waiting for/praying for/hoping for. I sat in my car with tears in my eyes thinking about the journey behind him and the life ahead of him.

Ryan signed to a record label and the opportunities/experiences that he has ahead are sure to be challenging and incredible. They will change his life.

I am so anxious and thrilled to see the ways that the Lord continues to allow Ryan to use his gifts.

Seeing Ryan go through this journey has been an incredible learning experience for me as well- a challenge.

How many of my dreams/goals have I put on the backburner or given up on completely because I thought that they were too far out of reach of that I was "dreaming to big"?

As long as I have known Ryan- he has not stopped fighting for and pursuing his dream.
I am so proud and overjoyed in his diligence and his spirit.

Thinking back on Ryan's journey has been a sweet reminder that if the Lord calls us to a task- whether it is to be a rock star or a school teacher- that He will equip us to complete the task and make us look more like Jesus along the journey.


I am thankful for Ryan Kinder and love him to the core. Excited to continue to watch his journey.

Now time for you to look at corny pictures of Ryan/Ryan & I over these past 11 years...
Enjoy and Be Blessed this day!

Through the Rivers.

I do not know about you but the business of the holidays has just about worn me out...The parties, cooking, decorating, sitting in traffic...all while listening to Christmas music and secretly looking forward to this "seasons" departure.

This weekend I was battling the traffic of Highway 31.
A seemingly endless 4 lane road of bumper to bumper cars.
It is a true joy.

I realized that this would be a perfect moment to turn off my Carpenters Christmas album and talk with the Lord- an act that often goes to the side burner when my schedule gets full and my time slim.

(Does this happen to you too? Try turning down that music in the car and being still before the Lord.)

Without really meaning to begin the process- I started to reflect upon the year that has been 2011.

Can you believe that another year has come and gone?
A new one just on the horizon.
2012.
Blows. Me. Away.

This year has been a full and busy one-

To summarize my 2011:

Engagement
Trip to London/Paris
3 best friends married
I became a wife
One best friend had a baby
Many friends moved to new locations
Moved into new home
Completed Degree

Truly the most formative and impacting 365 days of this girls life.
One of the most difficult & joy filled seasons- with more transitions than I have fingers.

I cannot remember the heart of the Amy that started out this New Year.
Is that crazy?

This year has had its moments of utter joy and moments of despair.
I have truly stood a top the Eiffel Tower in Paris and felt on top of the world- and weeks later found myself in tears sitting on my couch in Birmingham trying to figure this life out.

The Lord has been sweet to place people in my life who know the heart of the Amy that I am now. People who call me out when it is needed. People who love me enough to remind me that I cannot do it all on my own. People who hear my heart about where the Lord is leading and push me in the direction of obedience. People that point me to Christ and are forever friends. The Lord is faithful to teach me through my core relationships on a daily basis.

I can only imagine that 2012 will bring with it the same types of mountains and valleys.

What lessons will the Lord teach me in 2012?

What battles will be the hardest to face?

What will the Lord take away from me to bring me closer to Himself?

Where will the Lord send me?


ALL overwhelming questions.

My only hope is that at the end of this year that I look more like Christ.
That I daily submit my ways to the Lord and trust in Him to sustain and protect my life. That I am bold in proclaiming the Gospel.

May I remind you as the Lord has continually reminded me-
This life is not about me or about you.
Even worse- This life is not about my comfort or happiness.

As sons and daughters of the Most High God- our role is to make much of Christ and to be doers of the word and fishers of men!

The ways in the which the Lord will allow us to fulfill these roles are endless- Who knows where the Lord will lead us and how He will call us to serve Him.


A little daunting, Huh?


I found such rest in these words of Isaiah:

"But now thus says the LORD,
he who created you, O Jacob,
he who formed you, O Israel:
'Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are mine.
When you pass through the waters,
I will be with you;
and through the rivers,
they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through the fire you shall
not be burned,
and the flame shall not consume you.
For I am the Lord your God,
the Holy One of Israel, Your Savior."
ch 43. v 1-3a.

As I reflect upon the last year of my life I can say with confidence that I passed through NO rivers, fires or waters without a Savior in my midst.


How sweet is it to face the days ahead knowing that the creator of heaven and earth looks at this mess of a person and says-Amy,You are MINE.

In a world where covenant is temporary, people will fail us and promises are broken- These words could not be more powerful.


I am in tears. God is so good and we need not be afraid.


My prayers is that we move forward to the days, months and years ahead remembering the faithfulness that Christ has shown to us in our past.

This may require us to take a step back from our list of "wishes" that have not yet been granted and really see the goodness and nearness of a Mighty Father.
His fingerprints are all over the place.
He has preserved our life.


Praying for you today. Trust in Him to provide our needs for tomorrow and guide our steps as we move forward in obedience.

A Love Song.

I have a string of thoughts and hopefully they will all come together in the end...

I am a lover of music. A friend asked me over the weekend what I did to calm down- to be still- to gain perspective and be quiet.

My answer was to be alone and listen to music.
I often choose music that is emotional- that evokes thought and feelings that are passionate and sometimes just simply sad.
Is it just messed up that even on a good day I ADORE a good song of heartbreak?

Even over the passed few days I have found myself listening to lots of Phil Collins and Coldplay...
Talk about emotional lyrics...

For example:

"My arms will hold you keep you safe and warm.
This bond between us can't be broken
I will be here, don't you cry"
(You'll Be in My Heart)

"When the truth is, I miss you
Yeah, the truth is that I miss you so
And I'm tired, I should not have let you go..."
(Warning Sign)


How often do I hear these songs and identify them? Try to make them about my life...somehow in some way they apply to me.
Right?

Goodness- I am not sure about you but songs like these tug at my heart strings.
They cause me to yearn for things in this world--- to be loved, missed, treasured and pined for.

I found myself, as I was listening to these songs, asking if I got THIS emotional about God's word.
Did I read scripture and sing songs of worship and have the words bring about such heart tugs, burden and longing for something...


I love this passage in Isaiah...

Chapter 26: 7-9

"The path of the righteous is level;
you make level the way of the righteous.
In the path of your judgements,
O Lord, we wait for you;
your name and remembrance
are the desire of our soul.
My soul yearns for you in the night;
my spirit within me earnestly seeks you."


Talk about emotion. Our soul.

Oh Lord, I YEARN for you. YOU ALONE are my desire. I EARNESTLY seek YOU.

Passion. A true love song.


What does it look like in my life for me to earnestly seek Christ?

Does my soul yearn for God?

I am thankful for this sweet reminder from the Lord that I do not just have to love God and trust Him-
but that I need to YEARN for Him. His word. His very near presence in my life.

To yearn is not just to want. To yearn is to have an intense longing and desire.

A man in the desert YEARNS for water.
A woman without shelter on a cold night YEARNS for a place of rest.
A newborn baby YEARNS for a mothers presence.

We are to YEARN for Christ.
He is worthy of being pined for. In fact- Christ is the only thing worthy of longing, pining and desire.
For He is the only one who can satisfy. sustain. bring joy. give love. provide peace.

I desperately need Jesus.


Mighty God- You are my hiding place. You are my ever present help and closest friend of my heart. You are more than enough for me and all that can sustain. I so often look for satisfaction and affirmation from people. My prayer is that you will instill in me a pining for your spirit and presence. I pray that I earnestly seek you- with each new day. Give me the power to wait on You- For you are my delight. I love you. Amen.

Folded Legs. Thankful Spirit. Sweet Shepherd.

Shepherd.

The Lord is mine.

I have come back to this passage many times over the passed two weeks-

Psalm 23
" The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD
forever."

I am so thankful for these words from our God. They are life giving.

If the Lord is the shepherd of my life then I am in turn a SHEEP.

By nature sheep are:
IGNORANT
LOST
UNAWARE OF THEIR NEEDS
CARELESS
WANDERERS

These animals do not know when to eat or sleep.
They do not know which direction to go.
They do not perceive danger and they walk right into traps and toil.

Sheep without a shepherd are lost. in danger. without hope.

I am without Christ lost. in danger. without hope.

How long, O Lord, will I ignore your rod and staff that are meant to comfort me and not just to restrict me?
I so often find the Lord's guidance in my life to be inconvenient, painful and not at all falling into my lines of pleasure.

I heard in a sermon once that sheep are so ignorant and helpless that shepherds literally must FOLD THEIR LEGS for them so that they will rest.

We see an example of this in the Psalm...The Lord MAKES ME LIE DOWN in green pastures...

I feel that this has been true of my life lately.
The Lord has folded my legs.
Made me immobile.
Kept me right where I am.

Why I ask?
Why Lord can you not just tell me what next step to take...?
Why Lord can you not allow me to get up and act...?
Why Lord am I still here right where you left me folded...?

I am learning the value in being still.

I am finding satisfaction in trusting Christ and following in His leading-
whether beside still waters or in the valley of the shadow of death.


Our Good Shepherd has given His life for His Sheep.

This sheep deserves death but has been given life.

That is worth seeing and savoring.

I have lately enjoyed reading through old hymns...I loved this one I found titled "The Good Shepherd"

"My Savior the good Shepherd is,
He'll never leave the flock.
The One Who truly loves the sheep,
Became the Lamb of God.

Despised, afflicted in my stead,
He spent His soul for me.
And to the slaughter He was led,
That I not thirsty be.
My Shepherd is the Lamb of God,
He calls to me each day,
To drink the waters flowing free,
From His pierced side of grace.
Yet when I stray or choose my way,
He still would search for me,
And bring me home on shoulders strong.
Do I not His love see?

My Shepherd's face is how I live,
I love to look at Him.
Though He might lead through shearing trial,
But still I follow Him.
Just as the Father's presence cheered
Him through each suffering day,
'Tis once I saw His tender care
That here I want to stay.

Oh, Father thank You for Your Son,
He shares Your heart for us.
That gladly He would bear us to
The bosom of Your love.
No greater Shepherd could there be,
That He would not lose one!
And lead us all to dwell with You.
Sweet Pasture, Living Stream."


Fellow Sheep- Trust in our Good Shepherd.
He is worthy.

Hallelujah- All I have is Christ

Over the past few weeks I have had some of the sweetest and most genuine conversations with people that I love dearly.
God is at work in the heart's of those around me and I am so excited to feel His presence at work and be a small part.

In my life have been placed true saints of the faith, brothers and sisters who love me despite the ugliness of my heart and people who point me to Jesus. Those who truly know my heart can be counted on one hand and they are forever friends.

These conversations that I have been so moved by have been centered around one specific idea- belief- life changing state of the heart.

I sat in a worship service led by one of my dearest friends last week and the words that were sung summarize this thought-

"Hallelujah- All I have is Christ. Hallelujah- Jesus is my life"

Words so simple to the ear-- yet powerful enough when grasped to change a life. All we have is Christ. Jesus is my life.


In the whirlwind of wedding, moving and getting settled into a new season of life- I must be the first to admit that I do not live this single-minded life.

I have been enthralled in Elisabeth Elliot's work titled "Let me be a Woman".
It thrills my heart to have found a book written for women that is not about being pure or being a noble wife.
This may sound like an odd phrase to come from the mouth of a girl whose entire life is sold out to loving and living life alongside girls.
The reason that I ADORE this work is because it is about helping us as daughters of the Most High know what our identity in Christ is about....not so that we can be good wives, daughters, mothers, etc....but so that we can make much of Jesus.

Allow me to share a paragraph found in my reading this past week- As I read it tears immediately came...I felt as though my prayers and desires of my heart had already been put into print...

"Lord, I give up all my own plans and purposes, all my own desires and hopes, and accept Thy will for my life. I give myself, my life, my all utterly to Thee to be Thine forever. Fill me and seal me with Thy Holy Spirit. Use me as Thou wilt, send me where Thou wilt, work out Thy whole will in my life at any cost, now and forever"

I must admit that I am crying now reading through that prayer again. It is strong. It is devastating. It will RUIN my life.

A ruined life of mine does not sound so bad anymore.
I am so tired of Amy's plans, dreams and hopes.
They are selfish and for my own glory.

The Lord has made me uncomfortably aware that this life is not about my pleasure, success or happiness.

Oh that I would beg the Lord to USE ME, SEND ME, WORK OUT THY WILL...at any cost. Today and Forevermore.

To mean these words are to surrender. To give my all utterly to Christ.

Brothers and Sisters- There is no better thing to ask of our Abba Father than to remove everything about me from myself and replace it with nothing but the things of Christ.

Such removal from self will certainly bring sacrifice- pain- fear -valleys.
Our nature is to nurture ourselves into a pleased stupor to the point where we don't need Jesus.

I do not know what it will look like as I continue to understand what it means to allow the Lord to fill me and seal me no matter the cost. However I trust that the more I seek Christ the more He will reveal Himself to me. The more I know Christ the more I will love Him and be satisfied in Him. Suffering will be refine my spirit. Pain will draw me to the mercy seat. Fear and anxiousness will remind me that I cannot live without the Good Shepherd's rod and staff that are sure to comfort me.


My prayer tonight is that we take the leap that truly let's the Lord have us. Our hearts, desires and everything in between.

LIfe as a follower of Christ will not be comfortable, easy or predictable- But if we truly are satisfied in Christ and allow Jesus to become the treasure of our lives we will know that it is not about comfort or having a plan. Our lives as followers of Christ are about taking the gospel to the ends of the earth. To make much of Christ in abundance or in need!

King Jesus- We love you. You are good and enough. Allow me this day to surrender all of myself to you knowing that you do not withhold any good thing from those who seek you faithfully. I so often try to hold on to the things of my heart that are dear for fear that you might ask me to let go or give them up for the sake of the gospel. Father- give me the boldness to live my life with opened hands trusting that your plan is far better than mine. To give up the things that I hold dear means entrusting the deepest parts of my heart to you. Help me to trust you, your timing and your will for my life. Help me to surrender all of me for your name sake. Let your Kingdom come and will be done in me this day. -Amen

Call me Martha.

Seasons. I talk and write about seasons almost all the time.

This is because we are always entering in to or preparing to head out of them.
The Lord is constantly preparing us for what is ahead- ordering our steps- and reminding us that He is in control.

Like the waves- Seasons come whether we are ready or not-
They are not something we can pause or rush. They are steady and out of our hands.

I must admit that this current season is one that has brought me to a place of total submission to our Abba Father.
It has been so full and busy- The business seems to never stop!
There have been many nights where my spirit has been exhausted and I have felt cradled by our God.
He has been near and there has been much joy. Growth in times of change.

Many know that I am a list maker. I thrive on lists. I die without them.
In fact, today, I called my best friend and went on and on about what I needed to get done- and we both decided that what I really needed was to go sit at a coffee shop and make some lists and be still.

Two. 2. Two. Hours later- My heart was still. My list was made. I had my plan.

As I zoomed around Birmingham today from one stop to another the Lord brought to my mind two women of the bible.

Mary and Martha.

Instead of summarizing I will just share the scripture with you found in the new testament book of Luke.

"Now as they went on their way, Jesus entered a village. And a woman named Martha welcomed him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet and listened to his teaching. But Martha was distracted with much serving. And she went up to him and said, ' Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.' But the Lord answered her, ' Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her"

Luke 10: 38-42


How many read this portion of God's word and took Martha's side?
I know I did.

Martha is doing her job. Getting things done. Being a good hostess. Doing much serving.
Mary is being lazy. Not being of any help. Right?

This is exactly how someone with a heart like Martha would react.

I am the worst of the "Martha's"
Those who know my heart well will know that I get into business mode. Get it done. Work, Work Work
Always busy never still.

Look at the words that were used to describe Martha-
DISTRACTED. ANXIOUS. TROUBLED.

This is so often my heart.

I entered my name into the words spoken by Jesus...
...Amy, Amy, you are anxious and troubled about many things...BUT the ONE thing is necessary...

Now take a look at sister Mary- who chose to sit at the feet of Jesus and listen.
Jesus said that she had chosen the good portion. She chose to be still. She chose to sit and know Jesus more.

What a thought!
To place Christ and time spent at His feet before my lists and "to-do"s...

So often my precious time with the Lord is the first thing to be forfeited during the activities that life requires.

This should not be so!


I should wake each day with the gospel and Christ on the forefront of my mind and heart-
not the daily to do list.

My flesh relates so much to Martha.
My heart desires so much to be one that is like Mary- Focused on Christ and willing to sit at His feet and be still.


Heavenly Father- How sweet it is to trust that seasons will come and go and you will be constant. Never changing. Thank you for reminding me this day that the most important thing about me is you- and that time spent in Your presence is vital. We live in a world that so desires and encourages us to be like Martha- busy and distracted. You are life and you are my portion. In your presence is fullness and joy. Lord, until I am able to make you my all-in-all, I pray that I am made uncomfortable in my self-sustaining ways. Thank you for your word and the life that comes through it. You are good. Thank you for loving me. Amen.

Oaks of Righteousness

I have found myself in a season of life and a state of the heart where God's word is new- refreshing-vital- and devastating in many ways to the way that I live my life- the ways in which I view our world.

Today the Lord revealed a portion of scripture to me that truly took my breath away. These three monumental verses of God's word encapsulate the current cry of my heart...my burdens. my desires. The calling that I am confident that the Lord has placed on my heart.

"The Spirit of the Lord GOD is upon me, because the LORD has anointed me to bring the good news to the poor, he has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance of our God; to comfort all those who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion-- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified."

Isaiah 61:1-3


I found myself seeing faces with each passing phrase...poor, broken hearted, faint in spirit, bound, mourning...

The Lord has been ever putting before my heart the calling to love the broken and to be light in darkness.
I have lost sleep. I have cried. I have been ruined by the need for Christ in the lives of so many.

I am an annoyingly visual person.

When I read this passage-I immediately imagined a dark room full of broken people in shackles-Dirty- without energy- without hope. See this with me- a sea of lost and broken people. Life is of no worth. They are doomed.

What joy would come to them if someone ran into the room and shouted with confidence-
"YOU ARE FREE...YOU ARE PARDONED...You are no longer bound..."

With Christ- We have this power. To look into the eyes of those who do not know Savior and tell them of the powerful and sacrificial love of Jesus.

Oh that the Lord would use me in the lives of others to help them see this truth. The truth.

What an incredible privilege it would be to watch a broken spirit transformed into an oak of righteousness- solely for name sake of Jesus Christ!


Father-
Thank you for reminding me today that it is by Your grace and mercy alone that I am not still in captivity. Praise your name for turning my ashes into beauty for the sake of furthering Your kingdom. Instill in me the boldness and clarity of mind to be intentional in seeking out the faint in spirit and sharing with them the hope that can be found in you. Sweet Jesus- draw me to yourself so that I might make much of you with each day that you allow. You are good and just. Thank you for loving me.

He's always been faithful to me.

To try and summarize the past few months in life and truly describe the sweetness of moments, difficulty of decisions, and nearness of God would be almost impossible.

Life has been full and never ceasing. The year started off with an excitement of sweet William Byrd asking me to be his bride. A few weeks later I was able to spend a weekend at the feet of Jesus worshipping with 600+ students, college leaders, and adults at Disciple Now at Hunter Street. Just five days later I jumped on a plane and experienced the most incredible two weeks in Paris and London.

The days following have been filled with work, bridal showers, wedding planning, weekend conferences, missions, etc.

More than I would like for you to know the ins and outs of the life of Amy-
I would like for you to know how sweet my King Jesus is.

The Lord has been moving in so many ways around me, in me, in people I love. I am overwhelmed.

This season of life has been filled with moments of absolute joy and excitement to move into a new chapter of life- and been filled with some heart break and devastation as doors have been closed and doubt has overwhelmed my heart.

All of these questions are being thrown my way-
Where will you live?
What kind of cheese do you want at the wedding?
What color table cloth would you like to register for?
What ministry do I want to become more involved in?
on and on and on...

I have been totally consumed at moments trying to figure out what will make ME most happy. fulfilled. content. at peace.

I have been listening to a John Piper sermon series and yesterday as I was driving the Lord spoke a word to me that stopped me dead in my tracks. As I was driving north on highway 280 I balled my eyes out as I had a sweet sweet message spoken straight to my heart from the mouth of the Almighty.

My life is not about being happy. fulfilled. content. at peace.

I am called to be FAITHFUL. to God. to my task. to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. That is all.

Where in the world did I get the idea that this life was about me? my plans?

I am here to make much of Jesus Christ through living out the gospel daily and by sharing the good news of a Redeemer and Savior to everyone whose path I cross.


All of the questions that have been consuming my heart and mind all of the sudden felt so puny and full of air.


I am a Redeemed daughter of the Most High God molded and fashioned by the Creator of heaven and earth. I have been healed, saved, forgiven, redeemed, renewed, strengthened, loved and protected by my God.

Why am I so worried about my own happiness or plans when at the end of this all that matters is that I made much of Christ?


To whoever is reading this...if there are any readers...my encouragement to you is this-

Remember that at the end of this life, that is surely a vapor, we will be met with either a real heaven or a real hell.

I pray that each morning we wake up and run to the mercy seat of Jesus- point ourselves toward heaven- commit to share the gospel with those who don't know Jesus- and remember that our plans and dreams are nothing compared to the life that God has gone before us and prepared.


Brothers and Sisters-I am pray that today we are nothing but faithful.